“Well, I definitely don’t want to be
a producer.” You see, I wasn’t made
for an office. I missed the creative
stuff – the storytelling
Tristan
Bernays
Tristan Bernays
(1998-2003) trained as a
producer before becoming
a writer and performer. He
will soon be performing
his one-man show at the
Edinburgh Fringe
hen I was a kid, I wanted
to be a marine biologist. I definitely
didn’t want to be an actor. Indeed, the
first thing I did after leaving two years
of drama school training was to say to
myself “Well, I definitely don’t want to
be an actor.”
Think of the many clichés you can about
drama schools – group hugging, song and
dance numbers that would make Glee
wince, entire lessons spent on learning to
be a tree – and they’re probably all true.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t regret it. I had
enormous fun, made wonderful friends and
learnt more about myself and theatre than I
care to know. But being an actor in the Real
World doesn’t involve film stars, fast cars
and frappuccinos. It involves huge periods
of waiting about for work, scrabbling for
jobs and (when you finally get them) being
poked and prodded around the stage like
chess board pieces by a director.
I didn’t want that but I knew that I
wanted to work in theatre. I love theatres
– the energy, the imagination, the physical
building itself. It’s wonderful. So I trained
as a producer. For two years, I worked in
the offices of numerous theatre companies
on loads of different shows – dramas,
comedy, even a Bollywood stage musical
of Wuthering Heights. I learnt amazing
practical skills about how to make theatre
happen – spread sheets, contracts,
organisation, how to put together the
perfect first night party. I started working
in fundraising so I could learn how to get
the cash to make plays happen. I even
W
produced two of my own shows in rep. It
was very exciting.
But then after those two years of
producing I said to myself “Well, I
definitely don’t want to be a producer.” You
see, I wasn’t made for an office. I missed the
creative stuff – the storytelling, the playing,
the relationship with audience. So one
day I gave up my full time job and started
writing. It’s one of the scariest things I’ve
ever done and I don’t regret it for a moment.
Over the next two years, I wrote as often
as I could – plays mostly. I spent a whole
year working on how to write, how I write,
what I wanted to write. It was exciting
and experimental. And at the end of the
year my first play Coffin was put on at
the King’s Head Theatre in London. The
following year I wrote three more plays
which have had readings at Soho Theatre
and Roundhouse. People want to work with
me and produce my work. This summer, I’m
taking a one-man show (the first I’ve written
for myself to perform) called The Bread &
The Beer to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
And it’s coming up to the end of two years.
By all accounts I should be saying “Well,
I definitely don’t want to be a writer and
performer.” But the fact is, writing and
performing is the first thing I’ve ever done
when I’ve said to myself “Yeah – I could do
this for the rest of my life.”
Again, don’t get me wrong – it’s hard
work. Really hard. At this point in my
career, I don’t get paid to write and I have
to work as tutor to make ends meet. But it’s
worth it. I’mmy own boss; I do the work I
like and that I care about; I work with the
people I want to work with; and every time I
sit back having finished my first draft I look
at it, I swell with pride and say “Yeah – I
made that.”
So for now I am happy and proud to be
a writer and a performer. It’s tough but
rewarding and seems to be getting good
results. But if that falls through, I can always
be a marine biologist.
Concordia
Merchant Taylors’ School
Tristan is taking his one-man
show The Bread & The Beer to the
Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August
2013. To find out more about the show,
visit
For more info about Tristan, visit his
website:
