Concordia
Merchant Taylors’ School
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Tales fromSandy Lodge
UNAUTHORISEDWOODWORK
During my early years at Merchant Taylors’ in the
mid-1950s, we were required to attend a weekly period of
“Woodwork”, held in the Workshop and under the guidance
of Mr. Beech.
Mr. Beech was insistent that no matter how long it took, we
all had to master the art of forming mortice and tenon joints
from lengths of 2” X 1” timber. For those of us in Upper IV
B, who were never going to excel in woodwork, the weekly
performance of hacking pieces of wood became somewhat
tedious and thus, we decided to turn our hands to something
more interesting.
During the lunch hour, we would occasionally play a
game of darts, with the dartboard hung on the inside of the
Form Room door and using a set of darts which had seen
much better days. Our unauthorised Woodwork project was
therefore to produce a set of ‘superior’ darts for lunchtime
entertainment and a specification was duly drawn up.
For a change, the following Woodwork period was much
anticipated and under the less than eagle eye of Mr. Beech, a
fine set of six U IV B darts was produced.
Essentially, our new darts comprised 8” lengths of ½”
dowel, cross-cut at one end, into which suitably shaped
pieces of veneer were inserted and glued to form the flights.
The business end involved hammering in a 4” nail, with the
nail-head then milled off to form a very sharp point.
The resulting, potentially lethal devices required
immediate testing. The dart board was speedily set up in
the usual place during the next lunch hour and testing
commenced. In a short while, the new darts were declared an
unqualified success, if only for landing on their target with a
loud and satisfying thud.
Unfortunately for us, we became more focused on the
aerodynamic and audible qualities of our new toys than
the fact that it was time for the first afternoon period to
commence. As Dart No.5 left my hand – they were all
numbered so as to allow the best ones to be further refined
– the Form Room door opened and in strode our good Form
Master, Mr. (Sooty) Blackburn. Dart No.5 missed his temple
by about three inches, landing, again with a nice thud, in the
door jamb.
It took Sooty a few moments to compose himself, doubtless
thinking that he had either walked into a war zone and/or
giving silent thanks for his life having been narrowly spared.
Slightly ashen-faced, he required to know the names of those
involved in this life-threatening enterprise. We all owned
up of course and Sooty, one of the gentlest of men, was
reluctantly required to balance the books with ‘three each’
and a severe dressing-down for all involved after school.
None of us suffered more than a briefly tender backside, but
collectively decided that we might consider the Chemistry
period for something more creative and dramatic, although
possibly with a little less deadly potential. However, that is
another, somewhat explosive story.
Nigel Carter (1955 - 1959)
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